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March 16th, 2010

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01:17 pm - Old age, deep thoughts
Today I'm 39 years old.

This time next year I'll be 40.

In two years time I'll be 41 and (most likely) married.

...I am having occasional flashes of panic, yes. But only occasional ones, and generally speaking I am happy and excited and not feeling all that old and it's all good, it's all good.

It must be said, though, that the sudden looming of milestones on the horizon is giving me a general feeling that I need to get organized, because I have a whole new and very major chunk of life coming up and it would be good to actually have some direction and plans and any kind of idea whatsoever about what to do with it. Because I probably can't coast on a mid-level editing job, a handful of short stories and a learner's permit forever.

The one-two combo of birthday and engagement is motivating me rather more than I had expected. Stuff Must Be Done (And Finished). Futures Must Be Forged. Teeth Must Be Regularly Cleaned. And so forth.

There's a certain stress in that, because laziness and underachievement is always a comforting fallback position, but stress is good for me. My blood pressure is very low, after all, and maybe could use a bit of uptick - writing, striving, double cheeseburgers and so forth.

In closing, I love my girl, I love my friends, and I feel a bit fired up with the desire to meet their expectations. Even if I am having a touch of mid-life crisis, it's all good. All good. Doubleplusgood.

(6 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:March 16th, 2010 02:30 am (UTC)
It's OK. I have been 40 for 5 years now. You will survive.

I have also been married for nigh on 20 of those years. You will be more than fine.

In my opinion any energy motivation boost must be relished. Go you!!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:March 16th, 2010 02:42 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, I meant to add that bit to my reply too. whoops. :)
[User Picture]
Date:March 16th, 2010 03:32 am (UTC)
i expect a shiny sportscar by the end of the week.
[User Picture]
Date:March 16th, 2010 08:16 am (UTC)
Aren't mid-life crises supposed to be about ditching responsibility and getting your rebel on? You're doing it all wrong! You're in danger of being productive! Quick! To the Batmobile! Oh, yeah, wait, you need a license for that. I guess just carry on with what you're doing. ;P

But then... does Batman have a license? Would anyone stop him to ask? If you had a Batmobile that would be so cool. They go up walls and everything.
[User Picture]
Date:March 16th, 2010 12:59 pm (UTC)
Many happy returns!
[User Picture]
Date:March 16th, 2010 02:07 pm (UTC)
Succumbing to the obvious;
But then in another year you'll be 42, so clearly the message is Don't Panic.

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